Grocery Shopping

Saturday is always grocery day around my house. Normally my husband does the shopping in the wee hours of the morning. Like literally when the doors open at 7:00 am he's there along with the other 3 regulars who normally show up. Obviously these people are on a routine like my husband. Today dear husband didn't show up though. He is grappling with a bout of sciatica and has been down in his back since New Year's Day.

Try as I might to get him to take some Ibuprofen for the pain, he refuses. It's not that he's trying to be some big man of faith either. He just says he doesn't wanna be "altered". That he needs to see how his back feels in it's natural state. My reply to that assinine comment was "Well, after 3 days I think you know. Now take your medicine." But like a typical man, he persists in being stubborn and suffering through.

In case you're wondering why Darin does the shopping and not me, well, I'll tell you. I've always done the grocery shopping. Before we had children we both went. After kids came, I went. Sometimes with kids in tow. Other times, not. I have always had a pattern of not staying within the budget though. Honestly? I flat out hate budgets. For years this has caused friction between us. He tells me how much I can spend and I always go over. My standard answer is usually, "Well, this is stuff we needed."

Then for awhile he got really smart and put me on "cash-basis only". Obviously that worked because if I went over I had to put items back. It was always so humiliating to ask the cashier to take items off, especially when there was a line behind me. As much as I hated that plan, it did work, but for some reason he got tired of having to count out the cash each month so we went back to the checkbook. And once again I reverted to my old ways of going over budget. In my mind I was justified, but in his mind I was disrespecting him after he took the time and effort to figure it all out. I never understood how he felt disrespected. I still don't, but to keep the peace he took over the grocery shopping earlier this year and I was stripped of my dignity. Just a reminder of one more thing I can't do right.

Let me tell you why it was so hard. A typical budget for us can be anywhere from $110-130/week. Now for a family of five, especially in today's economy, that doesn't go very far I assure you. I used to get downright angry about it, but as Darin often reminds me "This is just where we're at right now. It is what it is so deal with it." I have finally come to accept it but I sure don't like it. Today was a test. I had to do the grocery shopping. I took the calculator along with me so I could add it up as I went. That really helped. I also had a list. That also helped.

My daughter being with me didn't help because she wants everything she sees. Not to mention we had just come from a birthday party and she wanted to go home because she was tired. It was a gymnastics party and she had practiced her back handspring over and over and over again until she was wore slap out. She won't do it on her own yet. She has to be spotted, even if it's just a finger stuck behind her back. Her confidence level isn't quite where it needs to be yet for her to take off flipping on her own.

So with her worn out we proceeded into Bottom Dollar anyway. I wasn't about to waste gas taking her home then turning around and going back. I grabbed my list and my calculator and away we went with Averi going into meltdown mode beside me. She is a first-class whiner let me tell ya. In fact, she's a veritable Jekyll and Hyde. She can be the sweetest, most charming girl when she's with other people but you get her alone with me and she turns into queen diva barking out commands. It's not pretty. Then when I dared to pop her on the arm to get her quiet she announced in a loud voice that I was abusing her. The child doesn't have a clue what abuse is. She is spoiled rotten and it's all my doing. Yet another area I must work on. But I digress. Back to the shopping.

Today the budget was $130 and I was determined to stick with it. I want nothing more than to make my husband proud and to prove to him I can actually follow the rules (as much as that goes against my natural grain). I was going along just fine, marking out my list and adding as I went. I had just grabbed the lunchmeat (ham and turkey) when Averi said to me, "Mom, did you see that man back there dressed up like a woman?" (Oh no. Here we go.) I had practically rubbed shoulders with him/her and didn't even notice.

When I turned around to get a glance, sure enough there stood a black man dressed in a woman's sweater and jeans and high heels with a purse slung over "her" shoulder. It didn't help matters that under that sweater were some little boobie buds beginning to grow. I told Averi to quit gawking and just continued to shop. That's when I turned around and caught her peeking around the oatmeal display for one more look-see. I was mortifed. Thank God he/she didn't look over Averi's way or I would've had to disown my child. In our small town that's just not something you see everyday so I understood her curiosity but at the same time I don't want her gawking at people who are different.

We finally finished up the shopping and although I didn't get every single thing on the list (substituted with some things NOT on the list) I managed to stop at $135. Now for me, that is an accomplishment. I knew Darin wouldn't be mad if I only went over by $5. For the first time in a very long time I was able to drive home with groceries in tow knowing I wouldn't have to listen to him nag about money for the next 30 minutes. It was a huge load off my shoulders. After I unloaded them and put everything away he came up to me, gave me a hug and a kiss (more like a peck but I'll take it) and said, "I appreciate you staying in the budget. I was expecting there to be issues when you got home." Who knows? He might even let me take over the grocery-shopping again. :)