Temper Tantrums

As much as I hate to admit it, I have seen my daughter do this exact thing on many occasions. I mean literally fling herself into the floor and proceed to kick and scream and cry like it's the end of the world. Normally I just walk out of the room and refuse to give her an audience. Reasoning with her when she's in that state certainly doesn't work. That would be like trying to reason with a stampeding bull who's got his sights set on you. At that point all you can think to do is run as far away as you can, because saying "Here, nice bull" would be certain suicide.

I don't recall ever doing this as a child. Temper tantrums never entered my mind. For one thing I knew I would get my butt tore up. I'm not sure I fully comprehend why children do this. Obviously because they're angry. Duh! Or to get attention. Or to manipulate. I'll admit I'm usually the first to give in to my daughter when she whines because I want her to hush. That has probably been my no. 1 flaw as a parent. Letting my kids get away with unacceptable behaviors such as smarting off and name-calling. My teenager is so far gone there's no way to change it now. However, my daughter is another story. I believe I still have time to turn this around.

This week I actually grounded her from her Wii and the computer. When she persisted in giving me "attitude" I then grounded her from watching TV. This was only supposed to last one day. Well, last night I caught her playing with her handheld Nintendo and told her to put it up. She was testing me and I knew it. She just kept right on playing, insisting it wasn't a video game. I kept insisting it was. She then claimed she had to "save" her spot but in reality, she had turned off the volume and was still playing. This my son, Evan, revealed to me when he walked up behind her.

So you know what I did? I walked over and took it from her. Then I told her she was now grounded for two more days for disobedience. Oh, she tried to play me alright. Begged for another chance which is normally when I would buckle and give in, but not this time. I have got to gain some respect or she will be absolutely incorrigible as a hormonal teenage girl. Perish the thought! I have some inkling of what's coming because she is a clone of her teenage brother, personality-wise. Add to that the emotions of a female and what I've got on my hands is what could potentially become a monster.

Now in public you would never know she was anything other than a sweet, charming, beautiful little girl. She charms everyone she meets, teachers and parents alike. She's popular in school and has lots of friends. I'm thankful for that at least. The last thing I need is a "problem child" so-called. I just want her to be as beautiful inside as she is outside because as my mama used to always say, "Pretty is as pretty does." How do you teach a child inner-beauty though? It's beyond me... especially when they are given to anger, jealousy and a smart-mouth?

If she and my oldest were natured like my middle child, parenthood would be an absolute piece of cake. Instead, I have two choleric children that pretty much run all over me and I can't really blame them because I've allowed it all these years. Why did I allow it? Because truthfully, I was a lazy parent and didn't wanna "deal with it". It was always easier to "give in" to them which is the price I paid to have some peace. Now I'm really paying for it. And believe me, they know how to "work me" to get what they want. Even my teenager could charm the scales off a rattlesnake.

I know I can't be the only mom out there who deals with these issues. I would just love to know how to turn it around before my 8, almost 9, yr. old turns into the diva from hell. I think I'm on the right track with grounding her and actually "dealing" with her attitude and smart-mouth for a change rather than ignoring it. I am determined to "stick to my guns" this time although I know she will try to charm me. Be strong, DJ. You can do this. Now if I can just be consistent so that (as Dr. Phil says) she will be able to predict with 100% accuracy the outcome if she engages in certain behaviors, I will have it made. Pray for me that I'll endure to the end.