My weight-loss journey (so far)

With the holidays upon us I realize this is the time of year when most people gain an average of 8 lbs. however I am determined to lose at least that much, if not more.  As most of you know who know me, I have battled weight most of my life.  Many of you fight the same battle. The only time I was a normal size was in my teens and 20's up until I got pregnant with my first child then it was all over.  I have spent the past 17 years fighting the battle of the bulge and mostly letting it win. 

The truth is I did not believe I was worth the effort so I just resigned myself to being fat.  It was easier to eat then to deny myself what I considered one of my few pleasures in life.  Afterall, food tastes good.  Let's just admit that right now.  However, anything done in excess becomes harmful.  Instead of eating to live, I lived to eat.  A hallmark sign of a food addict of which I am.  It took admitting that to myself before I could really deal with my core issues.  I believe that is what has made the difference "this time". 

Diets don't work.  They simply do not.  Sure, they provide a quick fix in that they deal with the symptoms and you can certainly lose weight by "dieting".  However, most people gain their weight back and then some because they stop dieting.  They don't deal with the core issue of why they eat which more likely than not, is rooted in food addiction.  Let's face it.  Refined sugar (the other white stuff) is like a drug in its own right.  The more you eat it, the more you want it.  And I should know because I was the queen of the sweet tooth.     

Unlike drug or alcohol addiction, food is not something we can live without, therefore I have come to the conclusion that food addiction has to be managed on a daily basis if it is to be conquered.  And I even say that with caution because I realize addiction is something you don't just "get over".  You have to make daily choices that either contribute to your recovery or contaminate your recovery.  It is literally a one-day-at-a-time proposition.

So what motivated me this time?  I will tell you.  My children did.  At least that's what got me started down this road.  I was tired of being an embarrassment to my kids.  My oldest son has spent his entire life with a fat mom.  In spite of my promises over the years to "lose the weight" I never managed to do it.  At least not all the way.  Now here he is in his Sr. year of HS and I thought, "If I could lose the wt. this year and actually go to his graduation a perfectly normal size then I will have succeeded in keeping my promise to him" even if it is "a day late and a dollar short".

Furthermore, I have two more children who are approaching their teen years and I do not want them going thru middle and high school ashamed of their mother.  It was a big wake-up call to me when Evan refused to let me attend his 6th grade orientation in August.  When I asked him why he simply pointed to my stomach.  Ouch.  The truth hurts.  It made me feel good the other day though when I asked him if he could tell I had lost weight and he said yes, then pointed to where my stomach used to be.  Ahhh... progress.

With Averi being a girl, I especially worry about her.  For starters I don't want her dealing with weight issues the way I did in elementary school.  So far she has managed to keep her weight down to normal, but I know unless I model healthy behavior for her she could just as easily end up going down the same road I did.  There is too much heartache down that road and if I can spare her that pain, I will do it.

When I started this journey my cholesterol was 233 and my triglycerides were 214.  That was in June.  In October I went for my yearly physical and to my utter delight, and that of my doctor, my cholesterol had dropped to 183 and my triglycerides to 148.  Those are numbers I can live with.  In case you're wondering how I have done it I will tell you.  There is no magic wand but there are things you can do that will contribute to weight-loss.

The first thing I did was cut out junk-food and bread.  I know from past experience that if I want to manage my weight I will have to greatly reduce my carb-intake and increase my protein.  That doesn't mean I never eat carbs.  I just choose them wisely.  I have also discovered these incredible protein bars at Walmart called "Total Value".  They come in 4 flavors: Chocolate Peanut Butter, Smores, Chocolate Deluxe, and Chocolate Chip.  $6.62/box for six.  I've tried them all and unlike a lot of protein bars, these actually taste really good.  I eat them in place of a meal or as a snack because they stick with you and give you about 20 grams of protein per bar therefore you don't get hungry afterwards.

In addition to the protein bars, I eat a lot of raw veggies with deli-sliced chicken and colby-jack cheese on the side or a salad for lunch.  If I want a pc. of fruit or some nuts for a snack later on, I eat it.  I figure if it comes from nature it can't be bad for you even if it does contain sugar.  At least it's "natural" sugar.  A good rule-of-thumb when in doubt is this, "If you can't pick it or grow it, don't eat it." 

I think water is key too.  Lucky for me I actually like water.  I need to drink more of it.  Another big change I made was no eating after 7:00 at night... period.  Oh, and walking helps, too, although I need to do more of that as well.  I have greatly reduced the amount of food I eat but the amazing thing is I don't stay hungry all the time like I used to.  Get the sugar out of your system and the cravings simply disappear.  It's amazing how that works.

I'm embarrassed to admit this but you may as well know that I set a goal to lose 100 lbs. by 7/04/10.  How or why I ever let myself get that out-of-control in the first place is beyond me but the good news is DJ is back in control.  She is no longer a slave to food.  In 5 mos. I am only one lb. away from being halfway to my goal.  I am excited that for the first time in my life I have actually set a goal that I know I will reach.  This time it's just different, folks.  I know I will get there.  After that, it will be all downhill from there. 

I think the biggest factor in my success is that I am learning to love myself again.  I have realized that I am worth the effort to get healthy, to look good, and to be happy.  If I don't do it for me, then who will?  I have finally learned that I am in charge of my own happiness.  Sitting around wallowing in self-pity got me nowhere except more miserable.  As overwhelming as 100 lbs. seemed at first I could not let that deter me.  It's only a number. 

We've all heard it said "God can't steer a parked car."  Well, you have to start somewhere.  Just take that first step.  Just for that day.  Then when tomorrow comes, take another step. Just for that day.  And as you do this you will start gaining momentum and from there it just gets easier and easier.  More than anything though, it's not what you lose that makes the biggest difference.  It's what you gain on the inside that will really change your life... self-love, self-discipline, and self-respect.  Those are things I can't put a price on, my friends.