With the holidays upon us I realize this is the time of year when most people gain an average of 8 lbs. however I am determined to lose at least that much, if not more. As most of you know who know me, I have battled weight most of my life. Many of you fight the same battle. The only time I was a normal size was in my teens and 20's up until I got pregnant with my first child then it was all over. I have spent the past 17 years fighting the battle of the bulge and mostly letting it win.
The truth is I did not believe I was worth the effort so I just resigned myself to being fat. It was easier to eat then to deny myself what I considered one of my few pleasures in life. Afterall, food tastes good. Let's just admit that right now. However, anything done in excess becomes harmful. Instead of eating to live, I lived to eat. A hallmark sign of a food addict of which I am. It took admitting that to myself before I could really deal with my core issues. I believe that is what has made the difference "this time".
Diets don't work. They simply do not. Sure, they provide a quick fix in that they deal with the symptoms and you can certainly lose weight by "dieting". However, most people gain their weight back and then some because they stop dieting. They don't deal with the core issue of why they eat which more likely than not, is rooted in food addiction. Let's face it. Refined sugar (the other white stuff) is like a drug in its own right. The more you eat it, the more you want it. And I should know because I was the queen of the sweet tooth.
Unlike drug or alcohol addiction, food is not something we can live without, therefore I have come to the conclusion that food addiction has to be managed on a daily basis if it is to be conquered. And I even say that with caution because I realize addiction is something you don't just "get over". You have to make daily choices that either contribute to your recovery or contaminate your recovery. It is literally a one-day-at-a-time proposition.
So what motivated me this time? I will tell you. My children did. At least that's what got me started down this road. I was tired of being an embarrassment to my kids. My oldest son has spent his entire life with a fat mom. In spite of my promises over the years to "lose the weight" I never managed to do it. At least not all the way. Now here he is in his Sr. year of HS and I thought, "If I could lose the wt. this year and actually go to his graduation a perfectly normal size then I will have succeeded in keeping my promise to him" even if it is "a day late and a dollar short".
Furthermore, I have two more children who are approaching their teen years and I do not want them going thru middle and high school ashamed of their mother. It was a big wake-up call to me when Evan refused to let me attend his 6th grade orientation in August. When I asked him why he simply pointed to my stomach. Ouch. The truth hurts. It made me feel good the other day though when I asked him if he could tell I had lost weight and he said yes, then pointed to where my stomach used to be. Ahhh... progress.
With Averi being a girl, I especially worry about her. For starters I don't want her dealing with weight issues the way I did in elementary school. So far she has managed to keep her weight down to normal, but I know unless I model healthy behavior for her she could just as easily end up going down the same road I did. There is too much heartache down that road and if I can spare her that pain, I will do it.
When I started this journey my cholesterol was 233 and my triglycerides were 214. That was in June. In October I went for my yearly physical and to my utter delight, and that of my doctor, my cholesterol had dropped to 183 and my triglycerides to 148. Those are numbers I can live with. In case you're wondering how I have done it I will tell you. There is no magic wand but there are things you can do that will contribute to weight-loss.
The first thing I did was cut out junk-food and bread. I know from past experience that if I want to manage my weight I will have to greatly reduce my carb-intake and increase my protein. That doesn't mean I never eat carbs. I just choose them wisely. I have also discovered these incredible protein bars at Walmart called "Total Value". They come in 4 flavors: Chocolate Peanut Butter, Smores, Chocolate Deluxe, and Chocolate Chip. $6.62/box for six. I've tried them all and unlike a lot of protein bars, these actually taste really good. I eat them in place of a meal or as a snack because they stick with you and give you about 20 grams of protein per bar therefore you don't get hungry afterwards.
In addition to the protein bars, I eat a lot of raw veggies with deli-sliced chicken and colby-jack cheese on the side or a salad for lunch. If I want a pc. of fruit or some nuts for a snack later on, I eat it. I figure if it comes from nature it can't be bad for you even if it does contain sugar. At least it's "natural" sugar. A good rule-of-thumb when in doubt is this, "If you can't pick it or grow it, don't eat it."
I think water is key too. Lucky for me I actually like water. I need to drink more of it. Another big change I made was no eating after 7:00 at night... period. Oh, and walking helps, too, although I need to do more of that as well. I have greatly reduced the amount of food I eat but the amazing thing is I don't stay hungry all the time like I used to. Get the sugar out of your system and the cravings simply disappear. It's amazing how that works.
I'm embarrassed to admit this but you may as well know that I set a goal to lose 100 lbs. by 7/04/10. How or why I ever let myself get that out-of-control in the first place is beyond me but the good news is DJ is back in control. She is no longer a slave to food. In 5 mos. I am only one lb. away from being halfway to my goal. I am excited that for the first time in my life I have actually set a goal that I know I will reach. This time it's just different, folks. I know I will get there. After that, it will be all downhill from there.
I think the biggest factor in my success is that I am learning to love myself again. I have realized that I am worth the effort to get healthy, to look good, and to be happy. If I don't do it for me, then who will? I have finally learned that I am in charge of my own happiness. Sitting around wallowing in self-pity got me nowhere except more miserable. As overwhelming as 100 lbs. seemed at first I could not let that deter me. It's only a number.
We've all heard it said "God can't steer a parked car." Well, you have to start somewhere. Just take that first step. Just for that day. Then when tomorrow comes, take another step. Just for that day. And as you do this you will start gaining momentum and from there it just gets easier and easier. More than anything though, it's not what you lose that makes the biggest difference. It's what you gain on the inside that will really change your life... self-love, self-discipline, and self-respect. Those are things I can't put a price on, my friends.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thankful...
Today I celebrated my 44th annual Thanksgiving and for the first time in my life I was not with family. Nor did I slave away in the kitchen. I was thinking on a day like today I could have been really sad and depressed. I could have thrown myself a big ol' pity party, but the truth is although I am alone, I am happy and content.
The past few mos. have brought about the biggest change of my life. Separation/Divorce is never easy and in the beginning I wasn't sure how or even "if" I would make it. I shed a lot of tears. I felt insecure and afraid, but I am finding out I had a lot more inner strength than I realized. And you know what? In spite of it all, I find myself truly thankful.
Through this ordeal I have reconnected with God. I am learning to trust Him again. I have reconnected with myself as crazy as that may sound. For years I was just lost. Didn't know who I was anymore. I am finally learning to love me again.
I told my daughter that and she said I sounded conceited. I explained to her that if you can't love yourself first, you can't love others. Aside from a relationship with God, the second-most important relationship you will have on this earth is with yourself. Even Jesus told us to "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Self-love is very important if you want healthy relationships. I am learning that out of self-love grows self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem and self-respect. When you feel these things about yourself, it emboldens you to step out of the boat and do the things in life that make you happy. You start believing you're worth it. For so long I didn't think I "deserved" to be happy. Now I know I do and I am sooo thankful.
They say "your attitude determines your altitude". I've also heard it said "It's not what happens to you in life that matters so much as how you respond to it." Attitude is everything. I am learning that more and more as I go along. Believe me, I have been on both sides of the fence. I know what it is to be negative and I know what it is to be positive. I like positive so much better. There's just something about a positive attitude that draws people to you like bees to honey.
On a sidenote, this morning I was standing at the kitchen window waiting for my coffee to percolate and lo and behold if I didn't look out and see a big, fat redbird sitting on the fence. I love to watch birds, but I have a special affinity for redbirds. I don't know what it is about them but they are just beautiful to me. I must have stood there for 10 minutes entranced and thinking how thankful I was for that moment in time.
Before it was over another redbird had joined him, only this redbird was the other variety with very little red on it actually. I am convinced these two are mates. I actually saw this same pair the other morning as I was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I peeked out the window and there sat Mr. big, fat redbird on the table helping himself to some water that had puddled on the top of it. Within a few minutes his mate landed on the rail nearby. I couldn't help but smile and savor the moment as if it would be the last I would see of them. But no, here they were again today gracing me with their presence.
It made me realize how thankful I am for the little things in life whether it be big, fat redbirds, crisp blue skies, falling leaves, or new beginnings. As hard as life can be sometimes with its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, everything we go through makes us into the person we are. Ever-changing, ever-evolving.
I am so thankful for this exact moment in my life right now. I will never pass this way again so I savor it. I embrace it. I count it as part of the process I must go through to be the person I am becoming. And you know what? I love that person. I couldn't have said that a few months ago. For now I leave you with this:
The past few mos. have brought about the biggest change of my life. Separation/Divorce is never easy and in the beginning I wasn't sure how or even "if" I would make it. I shed a lot of tears. I felt insecure and afraid, but I am finding out I had a lot more inner strength than I realized. And you know what? In spite of it all, I find myself truly thankful.
Through this ordeal I have reconnected with God. I am learning to trust Him again. I have reconnected with myself as crazy as that may sound. For years I was just lost. Didn't know who I was anymore. I am finally learning to love me again.
I told my daughter that and she said I sounded conceited. I explained to her that if you can't love yourself first, you can't love others. Aside from a relationship with God, the second-most important relationship you will have on this earth is with yourself. Even Jesus told us to "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Self-love is very important if you want healthy relationships. I am learning that out of self-love grows self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem and self-respect. When you feel these things about yourself, it emboldens you to step out of the boat and do the things in life that make you happy. You start believing you're worth it. For so long I didn't think I "deserved" to be happy. Now I know I do and I am sooo thankful.
They say "your attitude determines your altitude". I've also heard it said "It's not what happens to you in life that matters so much as how you respond to it." Attitude is everything. I am learning that more and more as I go along. Believe me, I have been on both sides of the fence. I know what it is to be negative and I know what it is to be positive. I like positive so much better. There's just something about a positive attitude that draws people to you like bees to honey.
On a sidenote, this morning I was standing at the kitchen window waiting for my coffee to percolate and lo and behold if I didn't look out and see a big, fat redbird sitting on the fence. I love to watch birds, but I have a special affinity for redbirds. I don't know what it is about them but they are just beautiful to me. I must have stood there for 10 minutes entranced and thinking how thankful I was for that moment in time.
Before it was over another redbird had joined him, only this redbird was the other variety with very little red on it actually. I am convinced these two are mates. I actually saw this same pair the other morning as I was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I peeked out the window and there sat Mr. big, fat redbird on the table helping himself to some water that had puddled on the top of it. Within a few minutes his mate landed on the rail nearby. I couldn't help but smile and savor the moment as if it would be the last I would see of them. But no, here they were again today gracing me with their presence.
It made me realize how thankful I am for the little things in life whether it be big, fat redbirds, crisp blue skies, falling leaves, or new beginnings. As hard as life can be sometimes with its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, everything we go through makes us into the person we are. Ever-changing, ever-evolving.
I am so thankful for this exact moment in my life right now. I will never pass this way again so I savor it. I embrace it. I count it as part of the process I must go through to be the person I am becoming. And you know what? I love that person. I couldn't have said that a few months ago. For now I leave you with this:
Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, for they give you opportunity for improvement.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Least of These...
Saturday night I was sitting at home reading a book about elephants in Africa when my phone rang. It was a co-worker who had extra tickets to the Bantum Rooster concert at the Sunset Theater asking me if I wanted to go? For those of you who don't live in Asheboro I'm sure you're thinking "Who is Bantum Rooster?" I will tell you. They are a local band made up of HS and college boys who specialize in oldies rock 'n roll. Well, I had nothing else to do so I thought "why not?" I quickly threw on some makeup, fixed my hair and was out the door in a flash. Headed for a big night out on the town... for Asheboro, that is.
We were able to get front-row seats and quickly settled in for the concert. I had already spotted Randy when I came in the door so I knew we were in for a treat. Randy is one of those unforgettable characters that once encountered, you will never forget. Last year he was the hit of the night when he mosied down front during "Hound-dog" and proceeded to do his very best Elvis imitation. I have never laughed so hard in my life. The gyrations this man did would be enough to land me in the hospital flat of my back in full traction regalia. At the time I don't think most people there realized that Randy was a bit "touched". He is what a friend of mine would call "the least of these". In other words, he's a bit like a child mentally.
Sure enough, about 3 songs into the concert Randy could not stand it another minute. Down he paraded to the front onto the makeshift dancefloor. I mean he put on quite a show. I think the funniest part was when he hiked up his collar and proceeded to unbutton most of the bottons down the front of his Hawaiian shirt. I honest-to-God thought he was gonna do a striptease right then & there, and was mentally preparing myself for him to fling his shirt off. Thank God he didn't go quite that far, but rest assured by that time everyone around me had erupted in laughter including "yours truly".
As I watched this man thoroughly enjoying himself it occurred to me, "Can you imagine going through life like that, with no inhibitions?" Clearly this man had none. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the spotlight, and if I can be so bold as to say it... he "made" the concert what it was. He literally danced his way through most of those two hours. He would no sooner get back to his seat then they would start up another song and back to the front he would go. There is no doubt he must be in tip-top aerobic shape to pull off the dance moves he did, not to mention the man is as limber as Gumby. A contortionist in his own right. Oh, and did I mention this man has to be nearing 60?
Now I am looking forward to the next concert in December. This time Bantum Rooster will be doing "A Rockin' Christmas" for a donation of canned goods at the door. No doubt Randy will be back with more of his dance moves. And this time I will be armed with my camera ready to videotape it. I am looking forward to that as much as I am the concert itself. And I will definitely share it with my friends on Facebook. Everyone needs to experience Randy.
I just wonder what it would be like for one time in my life to lose all inhibitions? I mean to literally throw caution to the wind and just run up there in front of God & everybody and dance my fool head off? Unfortunately, I'm not like Randy though. I dare say most of us aren't. But I would venture to say he probably has a lot more fun in life than we do. Would to God we could all be more like the Randy's of the world, even if just for one night. Life would be a much better place. So in honor of Randy and those like him, here's to "the least of these" who grace our lives with their presence and make life a more loving, enjoyable experience.
To check out Bantum Rooster's music, simply copy and paste the link below into your browswer:
http://www.myspace.com/bantumrooster
We were able to get front-row seats and quickly settled in for the concert. I had already spotted Randy when I came in the door so I knew we were in for a treat. Randy is one of those unforgettable characters that once encountered, you will never forget. Last year he was the hit of the night when he mosied down front during "Hound-dog" and proceeded to do his very best Elvis imitation. I have never laughed so hard in my life. The gyrations this man did would be enough to land me in the hospital flat of my back in full traction regalia. At the time I don't think most people there realized that Randy was a bit "touched". He is what a friend of mine would call "the least of these". In other words, he's a bit like a child mentally.
Sure enough, about 3 songs into the concert Randy could not stand it another minute. Down he paraded to the front onto the makeshift dancefloor. I mean he put on quite a show. I think the funniest part was when he hiked up his collar and proceeded to unbutton most of the bottons down the front of his Hawaiian shirt. I honest-to-God thought he was gonna do a striptease right then & there, and was mentally preparing myself for him to fling his shirt off. Thank God he didn't go quite that far, but rest assured by that time everyone around me had erupted in laughter including "yours truly".
As I watched this man thoroughly enjoying himself it occurred to me, "Can you imagine going through life like that, with no inhibitions?" Clearly this man had none. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the spotlight, and if I can be so bold as to say it... he "made" the concert what it was. He literally danced his way through most of those two hours. He would no sooner get back to his seat then they would start up another song and back to the front he would go. There is no doubt he must be in tip-top aerobic shape to pull off the dance moves he did, not to mention the man is as limber as Gumby. A contortionist in his own right. Oh, and did I mention this man has to be nearing 60?
Now I am looking forward to the next concert in December. This time Bantum Rooster will be doing "A Rockin' Christmas" for a donation of canned goods at the door. No doubt Randy will be back with more of his dance moves. And this time I will be armed with my camera ready to videotape it. I am looking forward to that as much as I am the concert itself. And I will definitely share it with my friends on Facebook. Everyone needs to experience Randy.
I just wonder what it would be like for one time in my life to lose all inhibitions? I mean to literally throw caution to the wind and just run up there in front of God & everybody and dance my fool head off? Unfortunately, I'm not like Randy though. I dare say most of us aren't. But I would venture to say he probably has a lot more fun in life than we do. Would to God we could all be more like the Randy's of the world, even if just for one night. Life would be a much better place. So in honor of Randy and those like him, here's to "the least of these" who grace our lives with their presence and make life a more loving, enjoyable experience.
To check out Bantum Rooster's music, simply copy and paste the link below into your browswer:
http://www.myspace.com/bantumrooster
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Art of Surrender...
As Christians, most of us are familiar with the old hymn, "I Surrender All". Can't you just hear the words now?
All To Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely Give.
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all.
I surrender all.
All to thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all.
Yet how many of us truly live a surrendered life? I have to admit that I certainly haven't been. Until lately, that is, and even now I have to make the choice "daily" to surrender. Sometimes hourly. Surrendering my life to God is not a foreign concept to me, but knowing and doing are two different things.
As human beings we love to be in control or at least "think" we're in control when the truth is control is an illusion. Nevertheless, I have always been one who likes to be in control. It gives me a false sense of security. Lately though I have come to the stark realization that Donna Jane is not in control and by always trying to be in control, I keep myself in a near-frenzied state of fear, anxiety, worry, and frustration.
Uh. Not exactly a healthy way to live, folks. And to complicate matters I have to fight an anxiety disorder on top of the normal anxiety that people commonly deal with. That means I have to fight extra hard to combat my thoughts because when you live with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) your mind tends to race. A LOT. In my case, it tends to race ahead to the future, always trying to get out ahead of God and "figure things out". People, let me just tell you if you don't already know. This is an exercise in futility.
We are not meant to know the future. We are meant to live one day at a time and to trust God with our future. I am in a situation now where I have no choice but to trust God. Either that or lose my mind with worry. I choose to trust. I would much rather live in peace and serenity then fear and anxiety. I do this by first of all believing that God's Word is true and that He does have a plan for my life. And it's a good plan... to give me a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11).
Secondly, I make the conscious choice to "take up my cross daily" and follow Him, because sure enough if I don't, I will end up fretting and trying to take back control which only leads to more anxiety. Quite frankly, I'm tired of living life that way. I was thinking about that verse in Luke 9:23 yesterday about taking up your cross and what it meant. (Ironically that was today's "verse of the day" on my Facebook page). It dawned on me that Jesus knew our carnal nature and that it would take a daily act of surrender to trust Him, which is the only true path to peace. And really, what is surrender? It's trust, plain and simple.
I don't know about you, but I am the type who tends to want what I want when I want it which is always "now". But what about when God says "wait?" Or worse yet, when He says "no"? Will we trust Him then knowing He has our best interests at heart? Or like a child will we pitch a fit to get our way or try to "force" something that isn't in our best interest? I love the quote, "God always gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him." I have made up my mind that I want God's best in my life. And I believe I can have it.
Given my circumstances of late, (my separation and pending divorce) I have found myself at a place I never thought I would be. Yet in the midst of my marriage falling apart I am learning some things about myself that I would have never otherwise learned. Now am I saying God caused my marriage to fall apart so I could learn these things? Absolutely not. But I am saying nothing catches God off-guard. He was prepared for this before I was. I am seeing God's hand at work in my life like I haven't seen it in years. So you see? In every dark cloud there is a silver lining if we will look for it.
We are admonished in the scriptures "In everything give thanks for this is the Will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." That means in the midst of whatever it is you're going through, give thanks. Give thanks through your tears. Give thanks through your heartache. Give thanks through your fear. Give thanks through your doubt. Give thanks through your pain. If you have to grit your teeth to do it, then by God, just grit your teeth and do it knowing God will bring something good out of it. After all He promised us He would.
I am on a journey to a good place. I am getting healthy- spirit, soul, and body. I have dealt with a religious addiction for the past 5 yrs. I believe with God's help I am finally getting to a healthy place spiritually. I am currently dealing with a food addiction by dealing with the core issue rather than trying to attack the symptoms through yet another "diet". And guess what? It's working. This weight is falling off me, and for the first time in my life I truly believe (No. I know without a doubt) I will get to a healthy weight and stay there.
My most recent challenge is admitting I'm codependent. When I was first challenged by a friend with this idea I balked. And I continued to balk for 3 mos. until the signs were so "in my face" I could no longer deny it. So I went out and bought the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and boy, have I had my eyes opened. Now I'm on a journey to face and deal with my emotional issues.
I am convinced this is the primary reason my marriage fell apart. I wish I had known 20 yrs. ago what I know now, but the good news is I'm learning. And I'm growing. And I'm changing. All for the better. I am learning to love me again. I am discovering who Donna Jane is and what she needs & wants in life and in a relationship. I plan to do this right next time around. But in the meantime I am learning to "live in the present" and take one day at a time even if I have to pray this every single day:
God, Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change.
Courage to change
The things I can.
And wisdom to
Know the difference.
This, my friends, is the art of surrender.
All To Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely Give.
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all.
I surrender all.
All to thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all.
Yet how many of us truly live a surrendered life? I have to admit that I certainly haven't been. Until lately, that is, and even now I have to make the choice "daily" to surrender. Sometimes hourly. Surrendering my life to God is not a foreign concept to me, but knowing and doing are two different things.
As human beings we love to be in control or at least "think" we're in control when the truth is control is an illusion. Nevertheless, I have always been one who likes to be in control. It gives me a false sense of security. Lately though I have come to the stark realization that Donna Jane is not in control and by always trying to be in control, I keep myself in a near-frenzied state of fear, anxiety, worry, and frustration.
Uh. Not exactly a healthy way to live, folks. And to complicate matters I have to fight an anxiety disorder on top of the normal anxiety that people commonly deal with. That means I have to fight extra hard to combat my thoughts because when you live with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) your mind tends to race. A LOT. In my case, it tends to race ahead to the future, always trying to get out ahead of God and "figure things out". People, let me just tell you if you don't already know. This is an exercise in futility.
We are not meant to know the future. We are meant to live one day at a time and to trust God with our future. I am in a situation now where I have no choice but to trust God. Either that or lose my mind with worry. I choose to trust. I would much rather live in peace and serenity then fear and anxiety. I do this by first of all believing that God's Word is true and that He does have a plan for my life. And it's a good plan... to give me a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11).
Secondly, I make the conscious choice to "take up my cross daily" and follow Him, because sure enough if I don't, I will end up fretting and trying to take back control which only leads to more anxiety. Quite frankly, I'm tired of living life that way. I was thinking about that verse in Luke 9:23 yesterday about taking up your cross and what it meant. (Ironically that was today's "verse of the day" on my Facebook page). It dawned on me that Jesus knew our carnal nature and that it would take a daily act of surrender to trust Him, which is the only true path to peace. And really, what is surrender? It's trust, plain and simple.
I don't know about you, but I am the type who tends to want what I want when I want it which is always "now". But what about when God says "wait?" Or worse yet, when He says "no"? Will we trust Him then knowing He has our best interests at heart? Or like a child will we pitch a fit to get our way or try to "force" something that isn't in our best interest? I love the quote, "God always gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him." I have made up my mind that I want God's best in my life. And I believe I can have it.
Given my circumstances of late, (my separation and pending divorce) I have found myself at a place I never thought I would be. Yet in the midst of my marriage falling apart I am learning some things about myself that I would have never otherwise learned. Now am I saying God caused my marriage to fall apart so I could learn these things? Absolutely not. But I am saying nothing catches God off-guard. He was prepared for this before I was. I am seeing God's hand at work in my life like I haven't seen it in years. So you see? In every dark cloud there is a silver lining if we will look for it.
We are admonished in the scriptures "In everything give thanks for this is the Will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." That means in the midst of whatever it is you're going through, give thanks. Give thanks through your tears. Give thanks through your heartache. Give thanks through your fear. Give thanks through your doubt. Give thanks through your pain. If you have to grit your teeth to do it, then by God, just grit your teeth and do it knowing God will bring something good out of it. After all He promised us He would.
I am on a journey to a good place. I am getting healthy- spirit, soul, and body. I have dealt with a religious addiction for the past 5 yrs. I believe with God's help I am finally getting to a healthy place spiritually. I am currently dealing with a food addiction by dealing with the core issue rather than trying to attack the symptoms through yet another "diet". And guess what? It's working. This weight is falling off me, and for the first time in my life I truly believe (No. I know without a doubt) I will get to a healthy weight and stay there.
My most recent challenge is admitting I'm codependent. When I was first challenged by a friend with this idea I balked. And I continued to balk for 3 mos. until the signs were so "in my face" I could no longer deny it. So I went out and bought the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie and boy, have I had my eyes opened. Now I'm on a journey to face and deal with my emotional issues.
I am convinced this is the primary reason my marriage fell apart. I wish I had known 20 yrs. ago what I know now, but the good news is I'm learning. And I'm growing. And I'm changing. All for the better. I am learning to love me again. I am discovering who Donna Jane is and what she needs & wants in life and in a relationship. I plan to do this right next time around. But in the meantime I am learning to "live in the present" and take one day at a time even if I have to pray this every single day:
God, Grant me the Serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change.
Courage to change
The things I can.
And wisdom to
Know the difference.
This, my friends, is the art of surrender.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
